My Head

It's so interesting explaining the picture of the back of my head to people who don't know me...

The Sac Part 3: The Castro and My Tribute to Kirk

As mentioned before, the trip to The Sac included a day in San Francisco. We couldn't go to SF without checking out The Castro, especially with a gay man in the car with us.

I've had a lot of firsts with Kirk. How can you not when you've been friends with someone since college? I still remember when Kirk came out to me. I was the first of his people to know. I'm still honored and humbled by that distinction, which makes the fact that our friendship has lasted this long through some very difficult times even more significant to me. With at times rocky relationships with family, Kirk spent many holidays with my family while in our early twenties. My parents' house was a home open to all of our friends, especially during college holiday breaks. And Kirk was a frequent guest, though to my mom's dismay, I wasn't as gracious a hostess as she thought she had raised: the first time Kirk came over, I offered him something to drink, and after he accepted the offer, I told him where the pop, glasses and ice were. He's been getting his own drinks at Mom and Dad's ever since. And that was the beginning of Kirk becoming part of my family.

My friend has been such a big part of my life. I remember when, in college, so many in my family were suffering health issues that I often refused to answer the phone. I instead waited to hear the message on the answering machine (yes, in the times before voice mail...), as if ignoring the call and listening to the message would somehow change the reason for the call in the first place. But if Kirk was there in my room, and even when we lived together, he would enable my fear and graciously answer the phone whenever it rang. It may sound silly, but there was some comfort in knowing that he would hear it first - almost as if some of the sting of whatever horrible thing had just happened would be eased ever so slightly. And when it was the phone call that my grandpa died, and I sat in Kirk's arms, sobbing uncontrollably while feeling the most horrible emotional pain I think I have ever experienced, there's really no place that would have been better for me. He's one of my friends for whom I am most grateful.

As he began his journey of self-discovery that night in my apartment when he confessed that deep, dark secret, I had no idea that some fifteen-plus years later that it would still be a significant part of our lives together. I held his hand, hugged him and listened many times over the years as he's encountered various situations, both good and bad, and he has done the same for me. We both recognized the specialness in seeing 'Milk' together. And, during this wonderful trip to The Sac and San Francisco, we shared our first visions of The Castro together. And here are just a few.

A view of the street, with rainbow flags as far as the eye can see. I wish the picture did it justice.


Harvey's - a bar / restaurant in The Castro with much history attached regarding activism in The Castro and San Francisco, and renamed after Harvey Milk.


Gold's Gym in The Castro. Who could resist a picture of the rainbow barbell?


The corner of Castro and Market Streets - near the heart of The Castro.

This Morning...

This morning I woke up feeling perky and happy. Not artificially, but actually perky and happy. It's been so incredibly long since I've felt this way, I had almost forgotten what it was like. I had almost forgotten it was possible. I had almost lost hope of my old normalcy - of feeling a little spring in my step, a lightness in my heart, and feeling warmth in my spirit. Who knows how long the feeling will last, but I will cherish the hell out of it while I can. Happy Wednesday!

Tales of the Executor Part 1

As executor of my parents' wills (living and dead) and soon-to-be estate, I have just been granted permission to declare them incompetent when the time comes. What a weird feeling. Granted. I'm ecstatic that they are taking these measures to make our lives easier down the road (assuming I don't beat them to the punch...), and Mom, Dad and I talk about this stuff regularly, but incompetence is a new subject. Well, relatively new. I assume this usurps Mom's request that I take her to the woods up north somewhere, drop her off and leave if she develops Alzheimer's to the point where she's completely out of it. I love my family.

The Sac Part 2: Canada Attacks!

Beautiful San Francisco is just over an hour ride from the Sac, and we took the opportunity to take a day and do a little adventuring in San Fran. One of D's goal was to ensure we took a boat ride around the Bay. We bought tickets for one of the smaller boats (you know - the kind that lets you carry beer on board and whose captain doesn't mind if you perch on the not-quite-a-seat part in the front of the boat for an unobstructed view of everything), grabbed a few beers at the nearest restaurant, and settled in for a chilly but fun ride.

The boat tour was around an hour, and the hour was fun and relaxing. We had an amazingly clear day - the clearest D has seen in her many visits to city, most all of which include this very boat ride (according to D, it's the best $15 you can spend in San Francisco - I tend to agree). We were able to easily see the Golden Gate Bridge from shore, which is apparently a rarity.


Me and Kirk with the bridge just behind us, and D and Frank shivering just a little - I think their blood thinned noticeably since they moved away from the Michigan tundra!


A copy of this picture will soon be hanging on my living room wall, along with a few others. It's about time to update the wall hangings, and there will be a little Ode to Cali soon. It really was breathtaking and refreshing.


I had to get a picture of this sail boat. First of all, the view of the city is interesting to me - it's very hilly and very congested (not a good place for claustrophobes!). But the boat really caught my eye with the Canadian flag on the sail - who knew Canada would be attacking San Francisco?!?

The Sac Part 1: The Adventures of Sexy Pig

D and Frank moved to Sacramento (The Sac) back in October, and while I was fortunate to see at least one of them each month through January, the time to plan a trip out to visit rapidly approached. We finally settled on April, and Kirk and I booked our flights. Thinking back, they are some of my best friends of nearly fifteen years. That's fifteen years of memories, stories, adventures, and support for which I am eternally grateful and I was crazy excited to get to spend nearly a week with all of them.

If nothing else, D and I have kitsch in common. The stranger and more odd something is, the more drawn we tend to be to it if just for the comedic value. I still cherish the rainbow inner tube we bought together in South Beach years ago and take it on every camping trip. I still dig around for pictures of the bobblehead we took to Vegas - we photographed that thing everywhere we went (with slot machines, under the beer tap at the Bellagio, on stage at Second City, with a really bad showgirl at the Stratosphere...). D received Sexy Pig in a family White Elephant gift exchange, and while I'm sure everyone else thought it was the worst and most obnoxious gift ever, D fell in love. And when D, Frank and I landed in the Sac and piled into the car and I found Sexy Pig, I knew she'd make it into a few pictures. So, without further ado, here are The Adventures of Sexy Pig!


Sexy Pig made a little trip down to San Francisco. On the way to the Palace of Fine Arts, we missed a turn and ended up on the road to the Golden Gate Bridge inadvertently. Sexy Pig shared the adventure of crossing the bridge twice - the first picture is of the bridge crossing. Kirk was excited to see the Rainbow Tunnel at the end of the bridge, so we were sure to snap a picture of Sexy Pig approaching the tunnel of gay love.



The impetus behind traveling during the weekend we selected was that D and Frank, through no fault of their own, ended up with two extra tickets for a winery tour. Frank was gracious enough to rent a Navigator and a driver, and we proceeded to enjoy the day sipping wine. The first picture is of a scenic view at one of the wineries - there is a barely visible a snow-capped mountain in the background between Sexy Pig's head and the tree. The next picture is of D given a little love to Sexy Pig.



Not only did we enjoy having Sexy Pig around, but she became a bit of a celebrity as we toured the wineries. Ms. New York and Ms. Michigan were rather excited to greet Sexy Pig and were more excited to have their picture taken with her.

I don't know much, but I do know our trip wouldn't have been the same without D's beloved Sexy Pig.

Late Night Thoughts...

Can a leopard change its spots? I'm beginning to thing maybe not so much.