Oh, Michael...

I've had a few people ask me about the latest Michael Phelps drama - mostly, I'm sure, because of how avidly I watched his races in the Olympics this past summer. I couldn't tear myself away - it's so rare to see swimming on television that I savored every moment I could. But I digress... the question of late has been what do I think about Phelps and his bong...?

Honestly, I should preface this by saying I think marijuana should be legal. I have heard one argument against legalizing being safety while driving, but frankly, there's an instant THC test nowadays that works about as quickly as a breathalyzer (I know because I got into a disagreement recently with someone at work about how long certain drugs are detectable in various samples from the body - blood, hair, urine, etc...). I often wonder if it's just because the alcohol lobby is so strong or because smoking in general has been crucified, but I'm sure in my lifetime, recreational marijuana will not be legal in this country.

So, back to Phelps. My first response was that he's an idiot for putting himself in the position to be photographed with his lips wrapped around a 3-foot bong. My next response when I heard this at work was that surely he probably needed to smoke pot to get a good case of the munchies to be able to consume his 10,000-plus calorie diet while training. Then I thought that marijuana certainly cannot be performance-enhancing in the world of swimming (oooh, look at the pretty tiles on the bottom of the pool! Oops! I think I forgot to inhale when I turned my head to breathe! My gosh - it's taking a year to swim one length of the pool!). And then I remembered reading about his training regimen - 365 days a year, for roughly eight years if you count both Olympics. Can you imagine working 365 days a year? I think I'd need more than one hit off that bong if I worked that much. Oh, and think about the lung capacity of swimmers. Phelps could probably suck down an entire joint in one hit. And speaking of, do you know how many swimmers smoke? From my recollection, a whole lot of swimmers did / do. And when you read the reactions of his fellow Olympians, consider that thought. I have yet to see anybody in the sport of swimming come down too hard on Michael. He was suspended from competition for all of three months (again, it's not performance-enhancing, and he was on the bandwagon for being monitored for doping throughout the Olympics to remain above suspicion). I don't think that USA Swimming is really going to ban the greatest swimmer of all time from competing with London four years away. At least not for a little walk in the park like he just had.

But alas, he was contrite. He's supposed to be a role model, blah blah blah. I'd be more concerned if he had been photographed snorting coke or passed out with a needle in his arm. People are calling for him to enter rehab. I mean, seriously? Rehab? For smoking a little pot? Again, seriously? So he's going to town after winning eight gold medals during one Olympic games. Give the guy a break. And really, who cares? He's an amazing swimmer, which is why I know of him. He could be a complete whackadoo and I would still love to watch him swim, because he's just such a freak of nature. So, Michael, if you're reading this, stop apologizing. Enjoy your success. We'll see you again in 2012 when major stations decide to air swimming again. It'll be a long four years without you.