Disney Cruise - March 2009

So, I never thought I would go on a Disney cruise. I believe the last time I visited Disney World was pre-Epcot. I believe it was under construction at the time. Regardless, it's been at least 25 years. I'm not a huge Disney fan by any stretch. In terms of movies, I love Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty. I know I enjoyed visiting Disney World as a kid. As an adult, I have little patience for standing in line, and I truly believe the happiest place on earth should not cost a small fortune to attend. And the fact that they do not have employees, but instead cast members, is just creepy to me. However, when my friend Jackie called and said she could book us on a Disney cruise with her cast member discount, I couldn't say no. How could I pass up a 7-night cruise for $550?

Me and Jackie tasting wine

I flew down to Orlando the day before the ship was set to sail so to speak, with my friend Brian. He and Jackie went to high school together, and as fate would have it, we all worked for contractors at GM. Jackie and KK picked us up at the airport, we headed out to dinner, and back to Jackie and Melanie's apartment. We woke up early the next morning and were off to the port - six of us in all.

The cruise was magnificent. The service was flawless, and much better than the other cruise line I vacationed on before, which was still very good. We had the same servers at our meals the entire time with the exception of the night we went to Palo, the restaurant on the top deck. Paula and Jonathan were fantastic. Jonathan brought us our favorite banana bread every night, and also provided some brain teasers and dirty jokes at the end of our meals. Paula even got a little teary on our last night. They told us a lot about the ship and the crew, noting that most crew members had worked on the Disney line for at least five years. I found that amazing.

KK, Paula, me, Jonathan, John, Brian, Melanie and Jackie

We had stops in Key West, Cozumel, Grand Cayman and Castaway Cay, Disney's island. Key West was a walking adventure, from the sculpture garden near the port to the southernmost point in the US. We made our way through the downtown section to the southernmost point and back again.

The southernmost point - "One Human Family" mosaic - I couldn't agree more!

The sculpture garden was incredible, both in scale and subject matter.

Grand Cayman was gorgeous, a little overcast and rainy, and then just plain hot! We enjoyed time on the beach and in the water there, and had a very relaxing afternoon. I took advantage of an excursion in Cozumel, which had me boarding a bus upon reaching the port. I was whisked away to a resort where I took a cooking class. We made tortillas with a chorizo and potato topping, grouper baked in banana leaves, and rice pudding sandwiched between cookies with a raspberry coulis. I wandered around the shops at the resort, and found a few interesting things, but only bought t-shirts for Justin and Dad (my obligatory gifts for them while on vacation).

One of my finds in Cozumel. Nothing says art like fornicating animals.

Another find in Cozumel. Maybe nothing says art like a marble penis?

Castaway Cay was a wonderful stop. It is Disney's island, and is beautiful. After walking past the family beach area and through the shops, we boarded a tram that took us to a pristine adults-only beach. Lunch was a fantastic barbecue, and the adults-only beach also had its own barbecue. I floated out quite far on an inner tube, chatted with a lifeguard who jet-skied by to make sure I was okay (oops!), and found many, many starfish on my way back into shore. The water was incredible - warm, crystal clear, and virtually colorless.

This shot was taken from the ship, and is of the pirate ship with Castaway Cay in the background.

Days at sea were equally fun. We spent a fair amount of time in the adults-only pool and hot tubs. The waitstaff was great - there's nothing like a Mai Tai delivered to you as you lounge by a pool on a giant cruise ship. It's so my style to be in water while on water. One day saw me and Brian partake in Martini tasting, confirming that a "true" martini is not something I would drink again. Bring on the girlie-tinis, though! Another day at sea offered a tour of the galley (a dream come true!), a beer tasting and a wine tasting. I took advantage of the spa and enjoyed a pedicure, too.

The ship's pastry chef. He spent an extra twenty minutes talking to me and another passenger after the tour.

The wine tasting setup. The Malbec was fantastic - enough so that I ordered it with dinner that night.

Despite not being a huge Disney fan, I knew I would find myself face to face with the characters, and knew I would be photographed with said characters. It really is bizarre to see Goofy running around the ship. There was a Characters Breakfast where all of the characters attend and visit each table so that passengers can get pictures with them. It's a brilliant piece of one-stop shopping, as in the evenings, there is a schedule of the characters' photo opportunities (which again involves waiting in line). Even better is that the schedule specifies what type of costume the characters will be in. Again, a bit creepy. I didn't pursue pictures with the characters outside of the breakfast experience. The characters always remind me of a show on MTV. I originally thought it was on True Life, but it's actually Sex2K. There was an episode about people whose sexual fetish involves dressing up in animal costumes, and they are known as Furries or Plushies. I saw this several years ago, and to this day, any time I see an animal mascot, I think of this show. So, when I saw Chip & Dale dressed up as sailors at the Character Breakfast, I could just picture them getting it on in some weird, secret room in the bowels (no pun intended) of the ship. Ick.

Me and Brian with Goofy.

There were many things that cracked me up on the ship. One of them was the Fantasia hat that was located in the kiddie pool area. The first time Brian and I saw the Fantasia hat, there was a little boy with his cheek resting on the top of it while water was spurting out of the top. I almost lost it - that hat falls in line with Disney's reputed phallic images, and to see a little boy with his face near the gushing water was almost too much for me. So, on our last night on the ship, when Brian and John and I saw that the pool had been drained, I had to get a picture with the image that almost made me cry. The angle doesn't quite do the image justice, but I'm sure you'll get the idea.

Me with the phallic spurting hat.

All in all, it was a wonderful vacation - great time to catch up with old friends, and an opportunity to make new ones. I would definitely go on another Disney cruise, and while Jackie has one lined up for September, I think I'll have to wait until next year.