Pinnochle: The Curse...?

Thanksgiving was enjoyable as usual - great food, time spent with family, nephew cracking me up... The rest of the weekend went well, too. I got to catch up with friends (Four Christmases with D & Frank, lunch with mom & Sheryl, dinner with Jackie & family and Brian), and also got to play pinnochle with mom, Nan & Kirk. Usually, playing pinnochle makes me happy. This time, it just reminded me of my uncle. And it made me sad. Kirk would call it being in a funk, and usually I would agree. This time, it's more like mild depression. Losing people never gets easy. No matter how much I've been through it, it still hurts, and it hurts differently every time. I find I can't shake the thought that for the rest of my life, I'll keep losing more people. So, there's options... I can opt not to get close to people and miss out on amazing experiences, or I can get close to people and have amazing experiences but have such a void when they are gone. I know...I would probably sense a void with the first scenario, too. But grief makes me wonder which is worse. And maybe there's no answer - maybe they are equally painful.

Life in the World of Online "Dating"

Just because I have so much free time on my hands, I decided to give match.com a whirl. Again. I figured, "What the hell? Haven't been on here in quite a while...maybe things have changed." I challenge all of you who believe I'm not an optimist - obviously I must be an optimist (or just straight-up delusional) to think things may have possibly changed in the realm of online "dating." So, here's a blurb from someone who is calculated to be an 81% match for me:

"I like to watch movies at home or in a theater. I like to hang out with my friends and family. I also like to local race tracks. I work a local race track. Like to hang out in my local donut shops. I like other sports other than racing."

Hmm...this makes me think the other 19% is really freakin' important.

But, I did find a diamond in the rough that gave me a little bit of hope. We emailed back and forth a bit, then he disappeared for a week. I received a final email from him that went a bit like this:

"You seem like a really great person, and I apologize for falling off the face of the earth. I found someone that I think I have a real chance with. I just wanted to let you know. I hope you find someone, too."

Wonder of wonders - a true gentleman, willing to be honest and willing to let me know that it just wasn't going to happen instead of just vanishing. Crazy concept, hey? I did respond back that I wished him the best (which I do), but was secretly thinking I didn't want to burn any bridges should it not work out for him.

Now, I'm not looking for the infamous Mr. Right. I don't really believe he exists. I am looking for Mr. I'm Willing to Work Hard for This and Have Fun Along the Way. If only he'd knock on my door and say, "Hey, let's give it a shot," and save me from the tedium of weeding through profile after profile...

What we're gonna do now is go back...

I left this house this morning just after 7. Yep, on a Sunday. It's definitely not my normal habit by any stretch, but I have a feeling I'll be doing this occasionally for a few years. My nephew had a swim meet this morning, and since I was actually in town, there was pretty much no way I was going to miss it.

Just like the last one, it brought back a ton of memories from when I was a kid. He had his event numbers written on his arm in Sharpie. My mom was documenting all of his times in the program, and had his event numbers written on her hand, too. Parents and family members were cheering. The pool was hot and humid and smelled like chlorine. Ahhh, the good ol' days.

I saw him swim four events. His 25-yard back was great until the finish - he has a fear of cracking his head on the wall, so he slows down and forgets to count his strokes in from the flags, which makes him take too many and he ends up cracking his head on the wall anyway. If he'd stick with his game plan, and swim the same speed & count his strokes, he'd be all set. He's practiced it, but it hasn't translated into meets yet. But, he still took first and broke the swim meet record.

His 25-yard free was nearly perfect. His start was awesome, he took only one breath, and he looked like someone (or something) was chasing him. He had a personal best of 15.16 seconds, took first again, and broke the swim meet record.

The 50-yard breaststroke saw a 5-second drop in his time, and he took 2nd, but wasn't too far out of first. And finally, in the 100-yard free, he kept up with his teammate next to him through the first 60 yards. He started slipping going into the last turn, and was a bit behind. Somehow, he turned it on and caught up. We were sure he would take 2nd, but in a Phelps-like maneuver, he out-touched his teammate by two hundredths of a second to take first. The weekend's tally was 5 gold and 3 silver. Not too bad at all!

I found myself getting a bit teary when he won the 25 free. There's something about knowing he's worked hard and then watching him execute so well that makes me proud. I looked at my mom and told her it's probably good I don't have kids of my own, because I'd embarrass the hell out of them by crying all the time. She just laughed because she's the same way. We followed up with lunch after the meet. It was great to have some time with my family at the pool. It's funny how zen that can be - I guess I find my peace at different places than most, but I'm okay with that.

Dos and Don'ts for Goodwill

I called Goodwill on Saginaw to see if they accept donations, and if so, what the drop-off hours were. I also asked if there was anything I couldn't donate. The response was "No knives, guns or tires." Knives and guns on the face I can understand. I can also understand tires when I think about it for a minute. But what an odd combination. And how about, "No drug paraphrenalia," or "No medications." Just an odd happening today.

Oh, the People-Watching

I worked the late shift at a charity poker tournament tonight. Not surprisingly, the people get more strange as the night wears on. This was no exception. A. and I were diligently selling and redeeming chips, when one person in particular came up to the counter. I had remarked earlier that I thought he was a bit creepy. Here's the conversation that ensued:
DG: How many kids you got?
Me: (no response...I was counting and logging, and didn't realize he was speaking to me)
DG: I said how many kids you got?
Me: I'm sorry...did you mean me?
DG: Yeah, how many kids you got?
Me: Eight. (dead-pan, by the way)
DG: (staring, shocked, for a few minutes) How many?
Me: (no response, aside from a gentle shrug)
DG: No, you don't got no kids!
Me: You're right, I don't.

A. looked at me - "Did that just happen?" Yep, it did. And yes, DG is code for Drunk Guy. I'm looking forward to working some more on Saturday...

I Wonder...

...will it be 150 years before we elect a gay person as president? How can we cheer that we've "come so far" by voting for a non-white man, yet seemingly be okay with the fact that we, as a society, continue to target other groups? The country wasn't ready to acknowledge blacks... and then women... then Japanese... now it's fighting against gays. When will we realize that we're doing the same damn thing over and over and continuing to bully groups of people we perceive as different? We think we've come so far, but have we really? Shouldn't actual change be seen in the fundamental way we treat people as a general rule? If so, we haven't learned a whole lot since the Emancipation Proclamation.

Very Cautiously Optimistic...

Or should I say realistic? I cast my vote earlier today. I've been anti-McCain for some time, and at times pro-Obama, but not entirely. I had flashes of Libertarianism throughout (particularly during / after the vice presidential debate). But I voted for the person I thought would do a better job; I voted for the one I thought would have more of a chance to build consensus and work to repair the horrific legacy they are being given. I sat watching returns tonight with Angela, Runs With Spatula and Corky (and the dog), and while I know Obama is the projected winner / winner, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad seeing the students at Spelman, the footage from Harlem, and the gathering in Chicago. I see so much hope and expectation, and such elation, which is overwhelming and pulls my heart strings in a way I can barely articulate. But I can't help but think that noone's life is going to change as drastically and dramatically as they may think in the timeframe that they would like. And it concerns me...

And on a ridiculous sidenote, I wonder how long before spell check recognizes "Obama."